Clouds at the Top

This photo was taken from my apartment. It is the hill just behind the complex. I love taking pictures of the mountains, clouds, sunset... I am planning to buy a better camera. I would like to spend some time taking pictures and planning a book. Only print enough for friends and family. Posting some of my pictures here will give me a chance to show other my pretty picture.

My son told me I have the heart of an artist. It is true. I would rather work at art that at anything else. I have three quilts I am in the process of making along with blankets, cross stitch, cooking and much more. Mom and I often have word about expanding the house. I really want a studio for all my projects. Even writing plays a part in the art.

Well for the time being you are invited to enjoy my picture….

Weird Stuff

-The internet connection I have to deal with these days is really bad. It fails at the worst possible moment. I was writing a blog entry last night and the connection dropped when I tried to save it, better luck this time.

-When I took the new position I new there was no reason for me to think I cannotdo the job. The concerns I had were with office space, being given a BlackBerry and more meetings. I worry over the oddest things, not whether I can or cannot do this job but about stuff.

- I will meet the new powers that be next week. I have an introduction to the staff not living local. I have not taken the time to read the information yet, but I will before i talk to the new managers. I have received twice the number of employees as the person had before me. I am sure things will change but only time will tell if the change is to the good or bad.

-I did talk to Mom tonight. All is well at home. Mom is started going to Curves for exercise daily. It should be good for her. I just hope she does not over do.

-I fill better today, Bill would be happy to know. I think I need to get the stress out one way or another. I am worried and not to sure of staying. I really would rather move home but I can't if I stay in the new position. I would like to stay with it for two maybe three years , at least long enough to pay off the house. Buying a house in spv is not are reall possibility. I have no intentions of staying not matter what.

New Job

I have a new position at work. I could not have been more surprised. I am very unsure of what I am doing. I called Mr. B to cry on his shoulder. I scared of failing those who except so much. I know I can do this but I have to follow my own mind not others. I am taking over a position that had 8 employees that will now have 19 employees. Some I know well and others not at all.

MrB listened and said all the right things. His mom did a good job. He is a good friend to have. Thanks to him I feel much better. My feelings were hurt and needed to be mended. I am still not sure I want to stay but only time will tell. The chance is theirs and they have only one. I can still move if it does not work out. The packing is half done and will stay that way for now.

Time to take my sad thoughts to bed.

Time To Go Home

The picture you see on this page is not far form the townhome I am using for the time being. I have a three bedroom house I have not seen in over a year. It would be nice to go there for a few weeks and maybe work from 'home', not any where near the mountains in the picture but about 1400 miles east of these mountains. I have a job where I feel I am being held hostage. I have 10+ years experence but I must quit and take a lesser job before I can go back to work in my field or I can stay where I am not happy.

Did you know there are rooms that have been done and I have not seen them. A patio cover has been added and the kitchen will be started soon. I have not seen any of it or been apart og the changes yet I am the one paying the bills. What is wrong with this picture.

So what to do? Stay where I am and turn into a person I don't like and make others as unhappy as myself? Quit and risk loosing the beautiful house that is very close to being paid off? Or find a way to make peace with the job and and those making my work life less that productive.

I know there are service men and women who have not been home in years but even knowing that I am still angery, hating the job I have and resenting those that have been allowed to make be feel less than who I am just to puff up their own egos.